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Dating advice for men: top 9 tips

Dating can be a scary prospect, especially for men. If you’re a single guy seeking someone special, don’t be put off: with these simple tips you could find love in no time

Modern dating is far less rule-based than it used to be. Fifty years ago, it was expected that the man would make the first move, pick up the bill, and generally be in the driving seat. Today, dating rules for men are far more relaxed – but that doesn’t mean men don’t still feel the pressure.

It’s common for guys to struggle with flirting, dating and relationships – in part because they can find it hard to ask for advice and speak openly about these things with friends.

If you’re yet to find your special someone, read on for this list of favourite fool-proof dating tips for men.

1. Put yourself out there

Meeting someone special becomes virtually impossible if you don’t put yourself out there.

Perhaps you’ve had your heart broken in the past or you struggle with shyness – whatever the reason for your hesitation, it’s important to get past your nerves and make a commitment to meeting new people.

By its very nature, dating is a little bit nerve-racking and risky. It requires you to be vulnerable and open to new experiences. But rather than running a mile from it all, try to embrace it. Remember that any dates you do meet up with will be in exactly the same boat.

2. Meet people online and in real life

If you’re from an older generation, you’re probably more inclined to meet people in person rather than wade into the unknown world of dating apps. But if you’re younger, the thought of striking up conversation with a stranger in person might be downright terrifying.

In truth, the best way to meet someone is to try a combination of the two. Sign up to some online dating services, and at the same time make an effort to be sociable and meet people in real life. If talking to strangers at a bar isn’t your thing, try taking up a new activity such as an exercise class or a book club.
Online apps can become a crutch for people who struggle with social interactions so try not to rely on them too heavily – you need to practise feeling comfortable around people in real life. It does get easier the more you do it.

Imagine you’re chatting with a friend or family member – this takes the pressure off

3. Don’t overthink your flirting technique

Flirting is not always easy, but in most cases it fails when you overthink it, or try “pick-up artist” cheats or tricks to impress someone, rather than relying on your natural charms.

A good tip when talking to someone new (whether online or in person) is to imagine you’re chatting with a friend or family member – this takes the pressure off, letting you relax and be yourself.

When meeting people in real life, make the effort to make good eye contact and smile. Listen carefully when they speak, and engage with their stories by offering similar anecdotes. It’s OK to be tactile when flirting, but don’t overdo it – a light touch on the shoulder or hand now and again is fine, but more than that might make them uncomfortable.

Finally, remember the golden rule: if they tell you they’re not interested, or politely take themselves out of the conversation, don’t keep pursuing them.

4. Plan date venues where you’ll be in your element

The typical first-date venue is a chic bar or an expensive restaurant but, while there’s nothing wrong with either of these, they’re not always conducive to having a good time.

If you meet your date in a noisy, busy bar, you might struggle to find seats or even hear the other person speaking. Expensive restaurants, meanwhile, can make you feel pressured and uncomfortable.

Instead of going for something “impressive”, opt for a place you know well – whether it’s that Victorian pub near your home or your favourite independent pizzeria. Also, remember that you can try something a bit different. Don’t be afraid to suggest a day date such as a picnic in the park or a stroll around an art gallery.

If it’s in a venue where you’ll be in your element, the date will automatically go more smoothly.

5. Make a good impression on your first date

It may seem obvious, but on an initial date first impressions are crucial. The first and easiest step in making a good impression is to look your best; so before you head out, take some time perfecting your appearance.

Have a shower, spend a bit of time on your hair and make sure you wear something clean (and preferably freshly ironed). There’s no specific rule when it comes to first-date outfits, but it’s hard to go wrong with a fresh white shirt, dark jumper, and smart jeans or trousers. Trainers are A-OK as long as they’re fairly box-fresh.

Other than your appearance, making a good first impression is about being relaxed, confident and friendly. Confidence isn’t always easy to muster – so if you’re struggling, fake it ’til you make it!

6. Ask lots of questions

A favourite first-date tip for men is to ask lots of questions. This is particularly good advice if you struggle with shyness.

Just remember not to delve too deep too soon – keep the conversation light and easy by focusing on work, hobbies and travel plans. If they bring up deeper topics, then great – but early on in your relationship, oversharing or being too nosy about someone’s private life can be a turn-off and seem too intrusive.

Even more important, make sure you listen to your date’s answers, and ask lots of follow-up questions. Make a mental note of significant details (for example, the name of their dog or their favourite food), and mention these things later on to show them you’re interested.

Lastly, make sure you talk and open up about yourself as well. You don’t want them to leave the date not knowing a single thing about you.

7. Avoid checking your phone

It’s common in this day and age to be overly reliant on your phone, but on a date, constantly scrolling and reading messages is a huge no-no. Not only can a phone become a crutch that leaves you less well equipped to deal with social situations, using one on a date also indicates to the other person that they don’t have your full attention.
When you’re with your date, turn your phone onto silent and put it away. Leaving it on the table – even if it’s flipped over – means it’s still within easy reach.

When you’re with your date, turn your phone onto silent and put it away

8. Don’t come on too strong

It can be tricky to strike the perfect balance on a first date. You want to come across as confident but not arrogant, interested but not nosy, and polite but not old-fashioned. The same balance needs to be struck when it comes to showing romantic interest in your date.

Even if you’re already hearing wedding bells, you shouldn’t be too forward or assume that your date feels the same. Don’t be afraid to give a few compliments and tell them you’ve had a great time – but don’t expect too much. If you want to see them again, ask for a second date, but don’t be pushy if they seem hesitant or simply say no.

The old advice regarding playing hard to get isn’t a relationship rule to live by, but there’s certainly a benefit to holding some of your feelings back until you’ve got to know a person better.

9. Debrief with friends

One of the best things to do post-date is to talk it over with one or two trusted friends – whether or not it went well, and so on. Generally a pal who’s in a committed and happy long-term relationship is more likely to be helpful than one who’s into serial one-night stands.

If the date went well, you can talk to your friends about how to proceed – and get their advice on how to craft that perfect follow-up text. And if the date went badly? They’ll be guaranteed to cheer you up.

7 dating tips for professionals seeking love

Are you a single professional struggling to meet someone special? Read on for some simple tips for finding love

If you’re a busy professional it can be difficult to make time for your friends, family and hobbies – let alone the dating scene. Maintaining a successful career often goes hand-in-hand with long hours, international travel, and taking your work home at the end of the day. With all that to contend with, the prospect of finding love might seem unlikely.

Here’s the good news – modern dating is a lot simpler than it used to be. Back in the day we may have relied on meeting other singletons at social occasions or getting our friends to set us up on blind dates, but today we can skip a lot of the hard work.

Our main piece of advice? Don’t shy away from using online dating sites and professional matchmaking services.

1. Sign up to a dating site for professionals

The best place to start your search for romance is online. Ten years ago, online dating was (unfairly) thought of as a refuge for the desperate – today it’s the norm, with one in five relationships in the UK starting online. The key to getting online dating right is to choose a site or app that is tailored to your needs, rather than downloading the first one you come across.

Sites and apps that offer online dating for professionals can be tailored towards numerous factors. Some focus on education or political views, while others are devoted to facilitating long-term relationships. The best dating websites for professional singles, though, are designed to make your life easier.

On Telegraph Dating, much of the hard work is done via a two-way matching system. The criteria you’ve listed on your profile is used to search for potential love interests, displaying them on your “My Ideal Match” page if their criteria matches with your personality and background.

To use the full features of this service you’ll have to pay a subscription fee, but in our opinion it’s more than worth it. Free dating sites tend to require far more input, and don’t offer the added benefit of tailored matches.

2. Create the perfect profile

Your online dating profile shouldn’t be something you dash off while you’re taking your tea break. Wait until you have a free evening or weekend and really get stuck in. List your interests, describe your lifestyle, and – most importantly – be realistic about what you’re looking for and what you can offer.

Whether you’re an ambitious go-getter seeking something casual and fun, or a busy CEO looking to make more time for a serious relationship, be upfront and honest! The same goes for any personality tests or questionnaires that you end up filling out.
Photo-wise, always aim to use something taken recently where your face is clearly displayed (preferably a solo rather than a group shot). If you can’t find a good photo, enlist a trusted friend to come round and take some flattering shots.

Once you’ve set up your online dating profile don’t let it gather dust

3. Look for someone with a compatible lifestyle

Remember when we asked you to be upfront and realistic in your dating profile and personality questionnaires? The same rule applies when you’re checking out other profiles. Even if you’re using a service that suggests potential matches, you’ll want to be judicious about who you end up messaging.

Let’s say a suggested profile ticks every box when it comes to looks, interests, and sense of humour – but they have a lifestyle that’s incompatible with yours due to their working hours or family commitments. In this instance, initiating a conversation is ultimately going to be a waste of time.

4. Make time for your profile every day

Once you’ve set up your online dating profile don’t let it gather dust. If you’re serious about meeting someone you’ll want to visit your account at least once a day, using your free time to check out your suggested matches, browse other members’ profiles, reply to messages, and initiate conversations.

The good news is that you can easily fit this task around your work commitments – the odd five or 10 minutes here and there at lunch, on your commute, or at home in front of the TV will do!

5. If online dating doesn’t work out, try a professional matchmaker or dating agency

As we’ve already said, online dating is the go-to dating style for modern professionals – but it doesn’t always work for everyone. The good news is that there’s another service you can try that won’t encroach on your working life: a professional dating agency.

As with online dating, professional matchmaking has come a long way since its early days. Today, services such as Mutual Attraction and Drawing Down the Moon are being lauded for their exceptional results. Typically these services offer an initial consultation, after which your matchmaker begins the process of looking for matches and setting up dates. Often these services offer one-on-one coaching, with your personal matchmaker on hand to chat and give advice before dates.

Matchmaking services are often used by high-net-worth individuals looking for a discreet way to seek romance, or wealthy entrepreneurs who don’t have time to arrange their own dates. Because the process is fairly in-depth the associated rates can be fairly high, but for professionals making a good salary it can be a fantastic option.

6. Commit to proper dates

Whether you’ve been set up via a matchmaker, or you’ve found someone special on a dating app, the next step is to actually start dating. As a professional with a busy career you might find it difficult to make time for dates, but it’s vital that you do.

Plan ahead, making sure you set aside a full afternoon or evening with absolutely zero work commitments. Your time might be precious, but there’s no point putting yourself out there if you’re not willing to make some compromises.
And when you’re on a date? Make sure you aren’t checking your phone every 10 minutes. Put it on silent, stick it in your pocket, and don’t take it out again until you’ve parted ways (or at least until they’ve popped to the loo). Work emails can wait!

Quality time doesn’t have to mean spending hours together

7. Enjoy the little moments

If things go well and you end up in a relationship, remember that a little compromise will be needed. If you want to successfully juggle career commitments and home life you’ll need to work together.

When one or both people in a relationship is very busy at work it can be hard to coordinate schedules. You should continue to make time for proper dates, planning ahead to make sure you have free evenings and weekends whenever possible.

Beyond that, try to enjoy the little moments. If you’re both booked solid for a week, try to snatch short periods of time to spend together – whether it’s enjoying a lie-in on a Saturday morning, or getting together for a quick lunch in the week.

Quality time doesn’t have to mean spending hours together, especially when you’re both career-oriented.

Single parent dating tips

Whether you are recently single or looking to get back out there after spending the last few years focusing on your children here are our top single parent dating tips

Being a single parent is one of the hardest jobs on the planet. Not only do we have to bear the burden of normal adult responsibilities – bill-paying, home cooking, juggling work and a social life – we also have to do our best to raise a child who is healthy and happy without the daily support of a loving partner.

For many single parents, money is a key issue, but for the vast majority of us, it’s the limitations of a 24-hour day that make single parenting so hard. Once we’ve made a packed lunch, done the school run, been to work, come home to clean up and cook dinner, and carried out the bedtime ritual of bribing our little ones into a bath, clean pyjamas and bed, how many of us have time to do anything for ourselves?

This lack of time is particularly problematic when it comes to dating. If we have limited hours in the week to dedicate to our own needs – whether it’s a drink with friends, a trip to the gym, or simply an hour-long bath with a good book – dating can quickly shoot to the bottom of the list.

As a single parent, dating can also be associated with feelings of guilt, anxiety, and even embarrassment. For any person returning to dating after some time away, it’s normal to feel nervous about striking up a new romance – but for single parents, the feelings surrounding dating can be even more conflicted.

Should I be spending time away from my child? What if no one wants to be in a relationship with a single parent? Have my looks changed since I became a parent? Will people judge me for going on dates and having casual sex?

If you’re a single parent who has had these kinds of thoughts since re-entering the dating scene, you’re not alone! Ultimately, these kinds of anxieties are not going to go away overnight. All you have to remember is that wanting some sex and romance in your life is perfectly normal and acceptable, no matter what your age, dating history or parental responsibilities.

That being said, dating as a single parent comes with its own challenges. If you’re feeling nervous about getting back on the scene, don’t panic – we’ve put together a list of our top 4 single parent dating tips to help you find love and romance.

Single parent dating tip 1: Use online dating sites

Where online dating was once seen as a last resort for the desperately single and socially awkward, it is now the go-to method for single people of all ages seeking everything from a quick fling to marriage.

As a single parent, online dating sites and apps can be a lifesaver. Forget getting dressed to the nines and heading out to a bar to make eyes at strangers – with online dating you can chat, make plans and send flirtatious emojis to as many people as you want, all from the comfort of your own sofa. After you’ve put the kids to bed you can relax in front of the TV with a glass of wine, scrolling through potential matches and making conversation at your leisure.

Another benefit of using apps and websites when it comes to single parent dating is that many services do all the heavy lifting for you – which again, saves you time and energy. Telegraph Dating utilises a two-way match system that creates a curated list of potential dates for you to browse. When you create your profile, you have to fill out criteria for your “ideal match”. The Telegraph Dating matching engine uses these criteria to find potential dates; if their criteria match your profile, bingo, they’ll appear on your list of matches. Telegraph Dating is also a great site to try if you’re a regular reader of the newspaper seeking someone likeminded.

Of course, if you’re looking for something a little more casual, a free app such as Tinder or Bumble can be ideal. Tinder displays single people in your area, allowing you to quickly swipe left if you aren’t feeling their vibe, or swipe right if you’d like to chat – if they also swipe right, your conversation can begin. The USP of Bumble is that, in opposite sex pairings, women have to make the first move by initiating a conversation. If you’re a single mother tired of receiving cheesy one-liners or unsolicited photos from strange men, this could be the app for you.

Single parent dating tip 2: Create the perfect profile

Most online dating sites require a fleshed out profile, complete with photos, a short biography, and a list of things you’re searching for in a partner. Essentially, the rule with these profiles is that the more you put in, the more you get out. If you can find a free hour during the week, get to work on writing that perfect profile.

A good dating profile keeps things to the point, is positive and upbeat, and offers a balance between what you’re like as a person, and what you’re looking for in a partner. Most importantly, it is honest and upfront. If you’re a single parent it’s usually a good idea to indicate this on your profile. You don’t have to talk about your kids at length, or include them in any of your photos, but making it clear that they are your top priority will help potential dates understand your lifestyle and commitments. Not everyone is looking for a relationship with someone who has children, and it’s ultimately better for you if you can weed out these people early on.

Remember that you should never feel the need to apologise or make excuses for having children. Resist the urge to say write things like I have children but… and instead spend some time bragging about your brilliant kids. Any potential match who isn’t excited about the prospect of joining your special little family simply isn’t worth your time.

As a last tip for your dating profile – remember to post some up-to-date (and flattering) photos!

Single parent dating tip 3: Don’t listen to the Debbie Downers

Dating at any time of life can usher in a lot of unsolicited advice from friends, family members and strangers. But when you’re a single parent it tends to go into overdrive. Married friends will try to live vicariously through you. Single friends with no kids will want to drag you out to bars. Perhaps most frustratingly, there will be people reminding you of the negatives of trying to date as a single parent.

If there are people in your life passing judgement on your dating life or suggesting that, as a single parent, you will struggle to find lasting love, simply don’t listen! This kind of input isn’t always meant unkindly, but you shouldn’t let it influence your behaviour.

When it comes to former partners – the mother or father of your children – you have no obligation to heed their dating advice or fill them in on every detail of your love life, particularly if they’re being difficult.
Having said that, it’s normally best to let them know you are dating, simply for the sake of practicality. An ex can come in handy when you need someone to look after the kids on date nights!

Single parent dating tip 4: Take your time

Perhaps the best piece of advice regarding single parent dating is to be patient. Looking for love should be fun and positive, and putting undue pressure on yourself to find someone will quickly transform the experience into something stressful and negative. Instead of rushing into something, use those online dating apps to get to know a potential match so you can plan that perfect first meet-up.

When you do meet in person, make sure you’ve set aside enough time to make the experience stress-free. Book a babysitter for the night, clear your schedule of housework and work commitments, and spend some time getting ready to ensure that you look and feel your best. Even something as simple as hitting the shops to buy a new date night dress or crisp white shirt can help boost your confidence. If the date goes well – great! But remember there’s no pressure to rush into a second one unless it feels completely right.

It’s also important to take your time later down the line, once you’ve struck up a connection with a particular person. Introducing new people to your children is an important step, and shouldn’t be done before you, your partner and your children are ready.

Remember: good things come to those who wait…

How to be charming on a date

Looking for tip on how to be charming? Let us help you master the art of seduction and romance in order to find your next partner

Going by the popular Twitter account Very British Problems (which went on to spawn a book and a television series) us Brits know a thing or two about social awkwardness. A celebration of the quintessential English cultural landmarks – the weather, tea, queuing – this humorous account is largely dedicated to highlighting the bumbling, overly polite behaviours that all Brits can painfully relate to. It is, in other words, a part of our culture to be lacking the easy confidence, directness and charm that tend to come in handy in a dating situation.

Indeed, it is no surprise that – in contrast with our friends across the Atlantic – Brits naturally tend to incorporate drinking into a date situation. A dark bar and a bit of Dutch courage is generally thought of as a fantastic way to smooth over those date night nerves and summon up some charisma and confidence.

Drinking aside, it’s less difficult than you might think to get in touch with your inner James (or Jane) Bond. Ask the experts and they’ll tell you that being truly charming has less to do with your mastery of the smoulder, and more to do with empathy and openness. Find out more by consulting our foolproof tips on how to be charming.

How to be charming tip 1: Be well-dressed

It may seem obvious, but our first tip for nailing the charm factor on a date is to look your best. Whether or not you’re interested in fashion, there’s no denying that the way we present ourselves on the outside says a lot about who we are on the inside.

Dressing well for a date doesn’t necessitate following the hottest new style trends. It’s simply a case of finding some (event-appropriate) clothes that look good on you. Often, simple is best – if you’re a guy, it’s hard to beat a freshly ironed white shirt, smart jeans and a pair of brogues or boxfresh trainers.

For those people who truly struggle with anything fashion related, it’s a good idea to call in the help of your most stylish friend. A person with a good eye for clothes will be able to tell you what suits you – and what should be avoided at all costs.

How to be charming tip 2: Be confident

If you’re someone who struggles in the charm department you’ve probably heard this piece of advice a thousand times and rolled your eyes. After all – if you were confident there wouldn’t be a problem, right?

The truth is, you don’t truly have to be self-confident to give off the appearance of self-confidence. In fact, “faking it ’til you make it” is a great way to improve your self-esteem.

According to business consultant Olivia Fox Cabane, who has a background in behavioural science, charisma can be achieved by adopting a powerful posture. Even if you’re not feeling at your most confident you can make yourself look confident with the right pose. Fox Cabane’s advice is tailored towards people in the business world – but on a date, an open, broad stance will definitely give the appearance of someone who feels confident and in control.

In short: practise sitting up straight.

How to be charming tip 3: Be interested

You may have all the confidence in the world, but it won’t serve you well if you don’t appear to be interested in your date. Olivia Fox Cabane counsels that, in addition to exuding power through your posture, you should aim to exude warmth. She recommends that you do this by thinking of three things you really like about that other person, and focusing on those traits while you speak to them.

Cultural critic and journalist Stephen Bayley gives similar advice, suggesting that it’s impossible to be charming unless you show interest in your date by being curious and inquisitive. In this article, he discusses how you can strike that all important balance between self-confidence and showing interest in your date, wryly acknowledging that “There is absolutely nothing that people enjoy more than the suggestion you find them fascinating.” He counsels to listen carefully and be quiet rather than loud but, at the same time, to avoid coming across as timid.

Crucially, Bayley advises not to be too intrusive – ask questions about your date, but don’t pry or appear too curious about anything very personal, particularly if you’re only meeting for the first time.

As a rough guide, if fifteen or so minutes have passed without your date saying something about him or herself, ask them a question. On the flip side, if you’ve been asking them questions solidly, give them a chance to get to know you.

How to be charming tip 4: Be vulnerable

You may think that charisma and vulnerability are mutually exclusive, but in fact, showing your human side is a brilliant way to charm the pants off a date. Fox Cabane suggests that “There’s a fine line between charismatic and intimidating” and encourages people to make a human connection “by revealing a weakness or sharing an embarrassing secret.”

On a first date, an appropriate level of vulnerability might be to discuss an embarrassing guilty pleasure, to speak about a film that made you cry, or – if you feel comfortable – to reference, without launching into any great detail, a difficult period in your life from which you have now moved on.

In an odd way, being prepared to discuss embarrassing, unexpected or difficult aspects of your life displays its own kind of confidence. Beyond that, it’s an excellent way of making your date feel comfortable – they’ll be reassured that they’re dating a real human, not a superhero.

How to be charming tip 5: Be polite and respectful

Nothing spells disaster for a date quicker than rudeness. Whether it’s snapping at the waiting staff, tucking into your food before your date’s has arrived, or chewing with your mouth open, a failure to be polite is certain to kill the romance.

In addition, Stephen Bayley advises that it’s best to avoid complaining, arguing that “Self-deprecation is a far better ad for yourself than moaning or mouthy show-boating”.

It’s also important to bear in mind that being charming has nothing to do with being sexually aggressive. You may be keen to model yourself on James Bond, but bear in mind that cheesy or inappropriate chat-up lines rarely have the intended effect (unless said in jest). Beyond that, it’s disrespectful to be overly sexually suggestive, or too hasty to make physical contact with your date before they feel comfortable.

Take things slow, lose the sleazy lines, and – whatever you do – tip the waiting staff when you leave. A polite and respectful date will score high on the charm scale.

If you’re seeking love and not sure where to look, why not try Telegraph Dating? Browse hundreds of profiles, get chatting, and start planning a date where you can flex those newly acquired charm skills.

Best places to meet women

Need some extra help thinking of the best places to meet women? Here are our top picks for placing the women of your dreams may be hiding

Gone are the days when you married your neighbour, settled down with the first love of your life, or resorted to the lonely hearts column.

In a hectic world where even online dating and Tinder are fast becoming passé, many single men are favouring the calculated circumstantial route to dating as they hope to meet their match in the most unlikely of places.

Blending my own (limited and highly dubious) experiences, those of my friends, as well as a total stranger I approached in a cafe (in between attempts to pick up women, of course), here’s a rundown of nine of the best places to meet women– or crash and burn trying.

Best places to meet women 1: On public transport

Given the unwritten British rule that forbids anyone to utter a word on public transport, you have to play this one right. Get it wrong and you’ll come across as creepy; get it right and you’ll be John Hannah in Sliding Doors. Believe me, a romance that blossoms on the Tube doesn’t just happen in films. After some serious eye contact, I once gave a business card to a French girl during rush hour. When she emailed me later in the morning, I replied: «Were you the one on the Central line or Piccadilly line?» The joke broke the ice. Before I knew it, there were ooh-la-las aplenty. Night buses are also prime chat-up territory – along with flying or travelling by train, if you strike gold with your seat number. Just don’t be the snake on the plane.

Best places to meet women 2: In the library

Everyone pretends they’re beavering away on something important, but in reality, most library-goers spend their days lusting after all the unexpectedly hot people they encounter rifling through ancient manuscripts. The good news is that practically no one acts on their feelings – so provided you have some good lines and a certain charm, you should at least get a coffee out of your endeavours. I once got a date – coffee followed by something stronger – after catching a girl’s eye at a water cooler in the British Library, and then leaving her a note with my number while she was dozing at her desk. But beware – I know women who have been turned off by persistent library philanderers, including a chap who offered chocolates with the ominous line, «I’ve written a poem about you».

Best places to meet women 3: At an evening class

Extra-curricular classes are a dating bonanza. Unless you’ve signed up for a haberdashery workshop without any real desire to knit your mum a nice scarf, then you already know that you have a hobby in common. It’s a bonus if you’re into dance as there’ll be loads more women than men, and most males there will be trying to learn some last-ditch moves ahead of their wedding. Although competition will be scarce, talent will help your game. If you don’t have the moves, channel Patrick Swayze in Ghost instead of Dirty Dancing and opt for the pottery course.

Best places to meet women 4: Clothes shopping

For your best odds, visit a shop that sells men’s and women’s clothing. Try something on, then ask that cute shopper nearby what she thinks. You’ll be able to gauge whether or not there’s an attraction on her part by the way she answers. Reversing the roles is even better: a well-placed, sincere compliment could provide the spontaneous spark that makes her day and paves the way for romance.

Best places to meet women 5: Out cycling

MAMILs – middle-aged men in Lycra – still rule the roads, but there’s an increasing number of BOABs – beauties on a bike – around as well. Waiting at the traffic lights could provide the ideal opportunity to break the ice. After all, you’ve already got something in common. For more serious cyclists, amateur races – or cyclosportives – are a potential goldmine. A friend of mine even met his girlfriend while competing in a triathlon and they fell head over handlebars in love.

Best places to meet women 6: At a cafe

Coffee shops are hubs for young professionals with alternative careers working remotely while drinking copious cappuccinos and appreciating the view. Plonk yourself down in a cafe with your laptop for a morning and you’ll witness a steady stream of ladies walk through the door. Striking up conversations will be easily, especially with a strategically placed book on your table to draw her in (make sure you’ve read it, mind). It’s not just the fellow customers who could catch your eye. Keep on returning to the same haunt because of a certain cute barista and she may get the message: a writer friend of mine did just that and was soon rewarded with a phone number written across his bill. And that was merely the first chapter of the story…

Best places to meet women 7: At the tennis club

There’s no denying that mixed doubles is an ace way of meeting someone with no strings attached – just ask Woody Allen, who wrote a film about it (Match Point). When my friend Hugo moved to the Netherlands he knew few people, so he joined his local tennis club as a way to keep fit and improve his social life. Seeing that all of Hugo’s previous girlfriends have known how to handle a racket, I’m sure he had another motive too. Either way, it paid off: his fast serve caught the eye of a certain young Dutch lady; after a period of, ahem, courting, it’s now love.

Best places to meet women 8: While walking the dog

Man’s best friend can also be his best wingman. A leash in your hand instantly elevates you to Ryan Gosling levels. This became clear when I looked after my friend’s dog for mere minutes while she did her groceries. Usually, the only person I’d attract outside a supermarket would be the local Big Issue peddler. But with Rex I became instantaneously a magnet in a metaphorical bed of iron filings. Sure, all eyes were initially on the hound, but once he did his business I suddenly became the more appealing package.

Best places to meet women 9: At a pheromone party

Sniffing women’s used T-shirts may sound like the start of stalker behaviour, but (apparently) this is the latest dating craze. In East London regular pheromone parties take place for those eager to sniff out a new lover. The concept is quite simple: wear a T-shirt in bed for three nights, then seal it in a freezer bag. The numbered bags – pink for girls, blue for boys – are opened at the party and if someone likes your smell then you’re allowed to approach them. Of course, no one’s stopping you dabbling some of your aftershave on a clean T-shirt with, say, a dash of lavender and, perhaps, chocolate. That should ensure a raft of dates. Alternatively, rub your garment over a cute and clean puppy – girls do love dogs, after all…

Other possibilities: playground (for single mothers, godmothers, aunties and au pairs), supper clubs (take a punt and go alone), fun places (parks, bar games, concerts), volunteering (everyone likes a philanthropist), job interview (the role may not be for you but that doesn’t stop you asking for feedback over a coffee), funerals (the film Wedding Crashers rather takes the biscuit, but there’s certainly scope in being a shoulder to cry on).

First date questions to help break the ice

Keep the conversation flowing all night by asking these 6 first date questions

When it comes to dating we all know that first meet-up is crucial. Whether or not you’ve laid some groundwork beforehand by chatting on a dating app, or striking up conversation in real life, the date itself is the make-or-break scenario that will determine whether that second meet-up is on the cards.

Nailing the conversation on a first date isn’t actually as tricky as you might think. A good rule of thumb is to ask lots of questions. It’s established scientific fact that people are considered more attractive when they ask their date questions, and even more so when they ask follow-up questions. In one study looking at speed daters it was found that participants were more likely to pursue a second date if they were asked follow-up questions – i.e. the date asked a question, listened to the response, and then asked another question on the basis of that response.

Just remember, simply interrogating is not the way to go. Ask questions, listen to what your date says, and engage with the conversation by offering your own experiences and insights. Most importantly, don’t rush the conversation because you’re terrified of pauses – the odd lull is to be expected!

With all that in mind, here are some interesting and fun first date questions to get you inspired.

Breaking the ice: best first date questions

First date question 1: How was your day?

You might be tempted to ask about their journey to the restaurant, or if they’re enjoying the weather, but the best icebreaker on a date is to simply ask about their day. This is a quick and easy way to open up the conversation that shows you’re interested in their well-being and what they do.

If they end up talking about work, this is a natural way for you to talk about your own career. If they tell you about a recent film or football match they watched, or a great art exhibit they visited, this opens up the conversation to talking about hobbies and interests.

And remember, if they’ve had a terrible day then you’ve got the opportunity to turn it around for them – ideally by ordering a couple of glasses of champagne…

First date question 2: What’s a typical day at work for you?

This question is a better way of asking your date what they do for a living. It gives them the opportunity to dig into the specifics of their job, rather than simply dashing off their job title and moving on to something else.

This question can also deliver some great work-based anecdotes. Within a few minutes you might be sharing stories about your most annoying colleague, or bonding over funny experiences at a corporate retreat. If there’s one topic we can all sink our teeth into it’s a bit of office gossip.